snooped on your husband’s or wife’s phone

Relationship Problem: Are you Checking Your Partner’s Phone?

Women & Kids

Relationship Problem

One night Priyanka patiently waited for her husband to slip into deep slumber. She wanted to peep into his phone and find out what he was up to. Why he never let anyone near his phone, including her? Why was he always smiling while exchanging messages over phone? She had started doubting his intentions and was quite sure that his phone had the answer to all her queries?

Can you relate to this scenario? Have you ever snooped on your husband’s or wife’s phone?

Relationship Problem: Are you Checking Your Partner’s Phone?

Yes, an increasing number of people are snooping into their partner’s mobile phone and accessing their emails, texts and social media accounts to simply figure out what they are up to. In fact, a survey conducted in 2014 by a leading anti-virus software provider Avast found that 1 in every 4 women as well as 1 in every 5 men checks their partner’s smartphone secretly.

Why People Check their Spouse’s Phone Secretly?

According to marriage therapists, one of the primary reasons why people snoop on their partner’s mobile phone is because they have trust issues. When people don’t trust their partners or what they say and show, they tend to look for other ways to find out what they are really up to. Many feel that accessing their partner’s phone and checking their searches and communication on their phone can reveal a lot more about them and their personal lives.

Top Reasons why people check their partner’s phone without their knowledge:

  • They feel their partners are hiding their secrets or wrong activities.
  • There isn’t enough communication between them and they also have issues with intimacy.
  • They fail to address their problems by talking to each other and are always suspicious about their partner’s activities.
  • They hesitate to share their feelings and feel spying on their partner is a better option.
  • They feel their partner isn’t forthcoming and assume that checking their phone can help them in finding the answer to their behaviour.
  • They are curious to find out what their partners are up to simply because their partners do not confide in them.
  • They suffer from insecurity issues.
  • They have always caught their partners lying or making excuses.
  • They may have suffered from betrayal or may have dated a cheater in their past and hence don’t have much faith on their current partner.

Is it ok to check your partner’s phone?

No matter what your current situation is or how badly you wish to find out what your partner has been up to, you must refrain from secretly checking your partner’s mobile phone. Remember, when you check your partner’s phone without his/her permission, you are violating their privacy. It is like breaching their trust and doubting their intentions. There is a good chance that after checking your partner’s phone you find absolutely nothing and end up feeling like a complete jerk in the end.

What Should You Do Instead?

If you want a relationship based on understanding and trust, then you must look forward to maintaining some amount of privacy with each other. This is considered to be both healthy and reasonable for couples who respect and value each other’s independence.

Alternatively, you should be questioning yourself what is prompting you to peep into your partner’s mobile phone. What exactly are you trying to achieve and will it help you to improve your relationship with your partner.

It is always wise to address dishonesty and secrecy head-on. You must tell them what you feel about their behavior. It is better you communicate to them directly and tell them that their secrecy is hurting you and that they should be more transparent as well as outright with you.


Lastly, if you feel that despite all your efforts and outright communication, your relationship is falling apart and your partner hasn’t changed at all, then you must call it quits instead of dragging yourself with a person who does not value your feelings or sentiments.

What are your thoughts on snooping into your partner’s phone? Do you think it is a good idea? Do share your thoughts in the comment section below.

-Puja Bhardwaj

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